Nadia Bilchik from CNN shared with me that all great networking has three stages, connection, conversation and collaboration. Nadia should know. In addition to being a CNN news anchor, she is a communications guru having written a book entitled “The Little Book of Big Networking Ideas: A Guide to Expert Networking”. (I’d recommend the book for anyone looking for advice on ways to network.)

Nadia’s stages – connection, conversation and collaboration -- are brilliant in authenticity: You need all three to experience the full power of networking. However, if the stages were easy for everyone, those doors of opportunity would be flying open all around us. They are not.

This blog is dedicated to the first stage – the connections we make with people when we first meet them. Your potential connections with other people probably happen a dozen times each day – waiting in line, riding an elevator, waiting for a game to start, checking out at the grocery store. They are encounters so commonplace they have become part of the backdrop of our day.

As a society we are so technologically advanced that we are starting to lose our ability to make interpersonal connections, a skill so necessary for networking that it is worth practicing a dozen times each day.

Consider this: Do you ever remember meeting someone and they instantaneously rubbed you the wrong way? No connection. How about the opposite experience – when an otherwise complete stranger seemed to draw you in to him or her for no apparent reason? Perhaps they were charismatic or attractive (both help). Chances are good that there was something else about them. The secret: Without realizing it, they instantly made you feel comfortable and emotionally safe.

As humans we have a basic instinct to sense danger – emotional or otherwise. Connections begin with being a person others instinctively can trust. Here are a few small changes you can make to give yourself greater connections with other others.

• Make Eye Contact – When you are introduced or greet someone, make eye contact. Smile with your eyes. It is the easiest way to express sincerity.
• Be Sincere – I love giving total strangers compliments on something I truly like, respect, or find impressive about them. “You make chin-ups look easy” or “your child has such beautiful manners” or “great shoes” are a few sincere observations over the past month. Comments like these go a long way in making that instantaneous connection, provided they are sincere. Try it. Offer a sincere compliment to a total stranger and watch his or her demeanor change. You will have an instant connection.
• Be Approachable. Are you the type of person who is always asked for directions? If so you are probably approachable. Watch a group of people and observe those you would most likely approach with a question. Approachable people do not grimace (yes, some people have a permanent grimace) they don’t look overly anxious or harangued. They look like they can handle a little more, a question from you.

Try these suggestions on your daily contacts. Remember making connections with others is a skill, by definition, a practiced act. If you practice, you never know where this might lead. It is the start of great personal networking.

What helps you make personal connections?

Paula