“I hate my job.” These crushing words will easily launch me into sympathetic rapid-fire questions with the answers providing the foundation for a creative problem-solving discussion. The resulting conversation is almost always warm (people sense I am sincerely trying to help); however, the outcome of the chat tends to go one of two directions -- and the reactions of those at either extreme have taught me much about why people stay in jobs they hate.

At one extreme there are the life-is-too-short-to-be-unhappy-at-work folks. They want to approach their careers with fresh eyes. Many (but certainly not all) of them are young adults and those re-entering the workforce. The conversation with people at this extreme is always enjoyable, creative, and solution-focused. These folks have minimal career-related baggage and want to be happy with whatever they opt to do for a living. They are optimistic and willing to at least mentally explore possibilities.

At the other extreme there are the yes-I-hate-my-job-but-that-is-why-they-call-it-work folks. They want to get out of the rut they are in but have convinced themselves that this is where they need to remain. Many (but not all) of them are experienced and well -trained mid-career or late-career folks. These folks have a lot of career-related baggage and are pessimistic about exploring options, even giving themselves the luxury of daydreaming.

The latter group, in contrast with the former, have taught me much about why people remain in jobs they dislike. The five most common reasons people stay in jobs they hate are:

Financial Responsibility – “I cannot change jobs now, I make too much money and it would be too difficult to find something at my level. I have too many expenses to ever take the financial risk.” You immediately conjure up the image of an investment banker who is joining the Peace Corps, don’t you? The truth is that job changes do not need to be a financial step back, but they may require some planning and preparation so you do not jump before you are ready. When I hear this comment it tends to be the case that the person is overextended financially and they need their steady current income to pay bills. Any thought of giving that up (even with a new job lined up) becomes an overly-daunting financial risk. If you find yourself in this position, try to work on two things concurrently: One, try to get your personal finances under control so you can mentally give yourself license to make career-related choices that are both financially rewarding and fulfilling. Two, develop a budget for the action plan necessary for changing your career.

Retention Incentives – “I only have two more years before I am fully vested in the pension program. I can suffer through anything for a few more years.” The Human Resource practices designed to encourage retention often work. This is great news for companies’ hoping to lower their costs to re-train workers. This is also great news for those who make it to the goal line with the company and can reap the financial reward in retirement. This is a personal decision regarding whether it is worth it. Only you can say whether the stress is worth it. I’d highly recommend beginning a side career while you literally finish “doing your time”. If you hate your current job that much, you may feel out of control. Starting a new side career can be both financially rewarding when you make it to the corporate finish line and will be emotionally satisfying, putting you back in control of your career and your future.

Fear of Change and the Unknown – “I wouldn’t know what to do if I left this job.” “This is what I know how to do.” Some people truly fear change. Minimally, as humans, we tend not to like it very much. The most successful people I know fear comfort more than they fear change. They dislike complacency more than they dislike ambiguity. We all vary with respect to our comfort-level with change and ambiguity. As an individual difference, it really is not fair for me to offer pithy suggestions in the hopes of turning the most cautious into a career bungee-jumper. If you really hate your job (slightly more than you hate change) I would suggest that not changing a thing in your current work situation – but, rather, add a small side career. You control when and how (and if ever) your job will change by dedicating more time to a side career. When you feel comfortable and the change no longer produces anxiety, you’ll make the leap.

Escalation of Commitment (or Misplaced Loyalty) – “I have worked in this profession for 15 years, I am not about to give up the years I have put in to start over.” “I have given a lot of myself to this organization.” This is such a retro comment. Over the course of the past couple of decades, the psychological contract between employers and employees has clearly changed in one important way: Employers have no long-term commitment to their employees and employees should feel no sense of long-term commitment to their employers. Employers provide income and benefits in return for employees’ high performance. There are no guarantees that there will be a job in the future, just as there is no expectation that you will stay with the organization if there is a better opportunity for you elsewhere. There are no gold stars for attendance in this stage of your life. Move on if you are unhappy. There are bound to be better opportunities elsewhere.

Pessimism – “It is naïve to think you can like what you do.” “I do not believe there are any fulfilling jobs – work is work.” I feel sorry for those who really believe this is true. If a person does not seem like a natural pessimist, then the underlying sentiment is usually related to an individual’s lack of creativity for their options. I’d encourage these pragmatic and pessimistic types to start talking to people who genuinely seem to enjoy what they do for a living. They are out there – but don’t take my naïve word for it.

I would suggest if one of these seemed to strike a nerve, you try to keep an open mind and follow some of the suggestions offered. I’ll expand on some of these issues in future blogs because being fulfilled in your revenue-generating activities (aka, your career) is critical for your emotional and physical well-being. Life is far too short to spend time in a job you hate.

Paula