You're fired!
Dawn Klingensmith

The first obstacle many laid-off employees face is a sense of injustice.

In fact, most job experts advise laid-off workers not to start networking or job searching until they've dispensed with the bad feelings. That way, they won't come across to potential employers as angry or unpleasant.

But the people who offer that advice typically don't supply instructions on how to get over the difficult feelings of anger, betrayal, panic and loss. While no single process works for everyone, there are logical places to start and techniques that can help people start moving in the right direction.

First, take stock of losses. "Everyone experiences a financial loss, but work is a source of so many other things for people," says New Brunswick, N.J.-based career counselor Paula Caligiuri. "It can be a social outlet, and it can provide a sense of fulfillment and achievement."

Only by acknowledging what they've lost, besides an income, can people take action to have those needs met elsewhere, Caligiuri says.

For example, a person whose sense of accomplishment was entirely tied up in work may want to offer and engage their skills as a volunteer for a few hours a week. A person with a limited social network may want to plug into a group that welcomes new faces, such as a library book club. The Website meetup.com can help guide you to local groups of people who share your interests. A person who found comfort in the structure of a workday may want to create a daily routine.

In some cases it's also important to take time to grieve the loss. "How job loss affects people depends on the person, but those whose identity and sense of worth were centered on the job may have a reaction that's pretty much like the loss of a loved one," says Cincinnati-based career and emotional intelligence coach Lisa Kappesser.

Those people might find comfort and practical advice in books on grieving and bereavement.

Laid-off workers can vent negative feelings to family and friends or in a journal, but should avoid doing so in a semi-public forum such as Facebook.

Another way to vent or metabolize strong emotions is through exercise. "You can take your anger and channel it into a workout. Exercising is a great stress reducer," Kappesser says.

List making can be a good way to bring about a positive attitude. "Make a list of all your network contacts, everyone you've ever done business with. Then, make a list of people who know and love you and want to help you," Kappesser says.

When a person feels better and is ready to start reaching out to his or her network, there will already be a comprehensive list in place, though the point of the exercise is not to contact every single individual.

Making a list of skills and accomplishments may provide a confidence boost, and it will help later on in updating online profiles and resumes, and in preparing for interviews.

Although jobseekers want to put their best foot forward, they should not wait until their psyches are all ablaze with sunshine and rainbows before beginning their search in earnest. Some days they'll need to fake it. "You sometimes have to tell yourself, 'Today's not the best day, but I have to get out there and network,'" Caligiuri says.

Folks who are consistently sad or irritable may need counseling to help process their emotions. "You can start with your family doctor to find out if you're clinically depressed and need treatment," Kappesser says.

Treatment is critical, she adds, because a clinically depressed person may lack the energy to get out of bed, let alone conduct a job search.